Monthly Archives: March 2011

Move Forward

I read one article recently. It’s quite meaningful and straight forward about life. I would like to share it out so that everyone get the chance to read 😀 By the way its in chinese language.

如果你也有放不下的人,進來讀讀吧,相信你會學會
       一個苦者找到一個和尚傾訴他的心事。
  他說:“我放不下一些事,放不下一些人。”
  和尚說:“沒有什麼東西是放不下的。”  
  他說:“這些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
  和尚讓他拿著一個茶杯,然後就往裏面倒熱水,一直倒到水溢出來。
       苦者被燙到馬上鬆開了手。
  和尚說:“這個世界上沒有什麼事是放不下的,痛了,你自然就會放下。”

       你可能覺得難過 ,

  因為無論你對他怎麼好 他都不領情
  他不是看不到 他只是裝作看不到
  或者他根本不想看到
  你覺得自己很喜歡他
  甚至覺得再沒有一個人可以像你那麼喜歡他
  你用盡全力對他好
  把他看的比自己還重要
  有什麼事情第一個就想到他
  聯繫不到他的時候 你擔心他擔心的快瘋了
  然而你有沒有想過
  這並不在你的責任範圍
  而且很有可能他是在躲著你
  他受不了你對他那麼好

      不要一直發短信給他 ,
    不要一直找他
  你也許只是想找他說說話
  你覺得那很正常 不算苛求
  但是也許他並不這麼想
  記住 你的想法不代表他的想法
  你是真的不求回報的在喜歡他嗎
  你捫心自問一下
  你確定不用他回報什麼嗎
  那為什麼你會難過
  若是真的一無所求
  你又怎麼會覺得難過呢
  所以 別覺得你那麼愛他是偉大的
  也許她根本不在乎你怎麼為他付出
  有時候你給他的愛或許是種負擔
  這種負擔只會讓他更加想遠離你
  因為他不想虧欠你
  別事事為他擔心為他張羅
  你覺得他沒有你不行
  你覺得別人做不到你那麼完善
  但是你要清楚
  你不是他要的那個人
  你做的再完善也敵不過人家不做
  那個位置本來就不是你的
  你何必硬要擠上去呢
  你說道理你都懂 只是你做不好
  喜歡他不是你的錯
  想關心他不是你的錯
  控制不住自己不是你的錯
  但是那是你的方式
  人家不一定就能接受你這種所謂無私的愛
  所以如果你喜歡他 他不喜歡你
  那麼就請你默默的
  別試圖讓他知道
  就算你會難過 甚至難過的流淚
  就請你默默的
  就算是逼自己也好
  一定要忍著
      
       傻孩子.

  忘了吧.所有你留戀的.你回憶的.你擁有過的.
  那些.都已是記憶.
  缺失並不可怕.
  可怕的.是無法面對.

  傻孩子.
  你無法輕易忘記放棄.是因為你付出過.
  付出了.她就會像柱子一樣紮根在心.
  不要刻意去逃避.刻意忘記.那只會讓你更痛苦.
  繞開這個柱子.尋找未來的幸福生活吧.
  那裏.有你的理想.
  傻孩子.
  開始新的習慣吧.
  習慣.每天一個人生活.
  習慣.一個人過生日.一個人行走.
  習慣.走過熟悉的路.面對熟悉的景.
  你逃不掉.逃不掉的.
  那麼.就勇敢面對.現實.
  現實是.一切.畫上了句點.

  傻孩子.
  勇敢看著鏡子中的自己吧.
  這個悲傷軟弱滿面憔悴的自己.
  這也是你.成長中的你.
  這個你.正在逐漸死去.
  新的你.即將重生.
  找尋你的路.你的未來.
  你知道的.所有的浩劫.都是成長的祭奠.
  做最好的自己.即使.一個人.

  傻孩子.
  好.好.盡情發泄吧.
  剝開自己的心.用文字.用聲音.用所有能發泄的方式.
  泄完了.就要振作.
  看吧.你失去的.其實微不足道.
  還有那麼多人關心著你.以不同的方式.
  所以.你並不孤獨.
  正是這樣的失去.讓你看清現在所擁有的幸福.

  傻孩子.
  別哭.別再哭.
  不值得.真的.不值得了.
  把過去塵封吧.別委屈.別不甘心.別不接受.
  開始新的旅程吧.去遇見新的風景.新的際遇.
  做你該做的事吧.有很多事.等待著你完成呢.
  
  傻孩子.
  生活褪去了曾有的顏色.暫時寧靜.
  別沉淪在這片寧靜裏.那會毀掉你.
  你要明白.雖然殘忍.但這個決定.足夠正確.
  現在的生活.不是你想要的.
  為了你的理想.你必須學會適時放棄.
  給對方最好的關懷.就是.變的更好.更強大.更幸福.
  現在我對你很好、很好、很好,你不需要、你無所謂、你不在乎,你不珍惜。。。。
  當某天,你被傷害,想起我。那時的我再也做不到像現在這樣一如既往、不顧一切的對你好了。。。
  因為那時的我,已經將你放低。。。。
 
  原來,放低一個人,最後是被對方逼出來的。。。。

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

OBS

I decided not to start this post with dragging lines of how lazy I am for not updating my blog lately 🙂 It would be way to stereotypical and let’s accept the fact that it will be very boring!

Well OBS is the abbreviation I gave for Obstetrics. Given that I have just started the first week of my O & G Posting, I realised I need to adapt to a whole new style of it again. Its like the time I’m having my Surgery Posting right after Paediatric Posting. The history taking in OBS is definitely very different from the others. It is like a story of a girl stepping into the motherhood etc from her age of menarche until where and how she is now (well, depending on the POG). Every little details is essential as it provide us the clue if anything happen during the pregnancy. Imagine a genetically and immunologically different fetus growing inside your body, a slight leaking liqua into the circulation would cause a serious impact on the mother. That’s how noble it is to be a mother!

On the fourth day of my posting, I got the chance to go to the Operation Room to observe some surgeries. We were lucky because there were 3 cases of LSCS and one with BTL as well on that day itself. We went into the OR to see the first case- LSCS + BTL with the indication of 2 previous scar done. The mother was given epidural anaesthesia. By watching her having the anaesthesia injected into her spine, that’s when I felt some feeling crawling inside my heart especially to the mother who had 2 LSCS before. Proceeded on by Pfannenstiel incision on her lower segment of abdomen, the MO had to incise layers and layers until the uterus is exposed. When you see the blood oozing out from the incision site, you will understand how it felt to be exceptionally cold within your core of the heart. The incision was quite large (which is unneccessary as commented by the specialist later). The moment when the amniotic membrane was incised, a sudden gush of liqua pouring out from the abdomen. The MO started to pull out the baby in no time, cord clamping, ligation of the cord, placental delivering. Everything happens in approximately less than 30 seconds. This was how fast it was! Any delay in delivering the baby will lead to fetal distress and of course the mother will be exposing to higher risk of having hemorrhage! It was quite bloody in the OR.

During the second LSCS which was indicated for macrosomia, unfortunately the incision was slightly smaller. When the amniotic membrane was incised, the MO fail to deliver the baby. It was definitely nails biting, palpitation moment for us who are standing there observing. Paediatrician MO and senior OBGY MO was called to the OR. The senior OBGY MO extended the incision. The baby was successfully delivered 😀 Many of us might be frustrated by the crying sounds from the baby but a crying sound on that particular moment was a joy and relief to all of us!

I have yet to see a Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery. However, with this 2 operation, I finally set my foot down on the fact that being a mother has always been the toughest job in the world right from the beginning.

Back at the ward, when I saw those babies sleeping beside their mothers, they are so small. From here, eventually they grow to become an adult in future. Can you imagine all of these came from a small embryo? Can you imagine your mother nurture you right from the moment where the implantation took place until who you are now? How much of efforts, tears and joys involved in bringing us up, I think no bright mathematician in this world can measure it accurately, not even knowing where to start off either.

If you felt your mother is nagging most of time, try to go to youtube and search for a birth video.

Thank You Mum! Words can never portray how much I owe it to you when at time I lost my patience in front of you.

Thank You Mum!  😀

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Quote of Life

做人就像捕鱼一样,不撒网又岂会有收获呢?
虽然等收获的时间可能很漫长,
但我有信心,我一定会等到

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Medicine

I can’t believe my laziness is taking a hit again. Since when is the last update for my post?

Almost approaching the fifth week of Medicine posting, so far I’ve yet to discover any new aspect of life. Everyday in the ward, there is always the similar cases waiting for us to clerk-myocardial infarction, ACS, unstable angina, renal failure etc. Well something to be glad of is I’ve been able to feel a collapsing pulse after thousands of time reading it from a book.

Certain time in my life now, I’ve started to realise some part of me is changing. The change is not something that I would in favour of or at least proud of. My threshold for empathy and being emotional have been increasing in such a fair speed. In the past, when I came across patients who have terminal illnesses, patches of grey clouds will be over me for a whole day. However, nowadays, I’ve ran out of emotions when I am in front of the those patients. There are still seconds of sadness but it will then fade away. Should I be glad that I’m able to be emotionally detached or should I be proud of the way I am right now?

I had to say, I not so sure about what I’m capable of nowadays. I guess it takes time to realise and adapt to your new-self. It may sound ironical or paradoxical but at some point, its true 🙂

Ignore what I have just said. I’m trying to occupy or make some updates on my blog which I’ve neglected for such a long time 😛

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized