The usage of my frontal lobe and limbic system have been increased dramatically especially, recently. Part of the usage I would like to blame it on the exam season of course although the truth is, it’s not so much of it.
I realised being too emotional is not a good thing and I am doing exactly what I’ve been saying. I came across a terminally ill patient recently. I thought it would be easy to be emotional detached considering that I am in the field of medicine, where we have to face live and death throughout our careers. There was once when I used to be a volunteer in a day-chemotherapy ward in a cancer hospital. During that time, I was handling the “truth of life” well that I never felt emotionally drained as how I was this time. Perhaps, it was because this terminally ill patient is one of the person that I’ve known for a long time.
I can’t help but to think how could a person who used to be so healthy, lively, actively participating in every activities became how he/she is right now? Every visit I paid to him/her reminded me of how lively he/she used to be. Those images will keep playing in my mind. It’s a very heart-broken images to be recalled of.
I remembered how I kept on reminding my mum not to shed a tears in front of the patient and yet ironically enough that, I was the one who shed the tears. It was the second last visit where we knew by heart that it was almost similar to a bidding-farewell-session. When he/she passed a photo journal which was specially made by his/her children to us, every single page that we flipped through is a power stimulus to the lacrimal glands. That was when I realised that we are all human being with EMOTIONS. No matter how well we try to held our feelings, the emotional part will eventually conquer us provided we have built a connection with that particular person from the bottom of the heart. I had to admit that I cried like a child asking for ice-cream from his parents. We gave each other a hug towards the end of the conversation. There were no precise words to describe how I felt at that moment. During the last visit, the patient was not able to recognise the people around him/her because he/she was in great deal of suffering from pain. This was what brought me to think about the issue regarding euthanasia.
“If you had a terminally ill patient in great deal of suffering, will you offer euthanasia to that patient?” This was the question ponder in my mind. Will you? I believe there is no exact line drawn between what is right and what is wrong in this issue. What we felt its ethically right may not be right from humanitarian aspect; What we felt its right for the patient may not necessarily be right for them. Perhaps, a good discussion with your patient before his or her critical condition arise will be one of the option. Patient is the ultimate decision-maker.
This experience inspired me from viewing the perspective of life. Life is really unpredictable, we might not know what is going to happen next. Hence, its important to appreciate and cherish every moment to the maximum. Sometime, whatever challenges I came to face with is almost nothing compared to what the patient is going through. What they are dealing with is life at stake while what I am dealing with is merely a small incident. I am grateful for the fact that we are still able to bid a proper goodbye to the patient when he/she is still in his/her conscious mind. Do what you are supposed to do without any delay. You have to say what is in your heart even though people might not understand or feel the same way as you did.
Thank You God for everything that you bless us with :D!
Thank You :D!